Writing It Randomly

Reality TV is white noise.  Jailbirds play in the background as I check emails and catch up on social media. I vaguely become aware of an altercation between inmates on the screen. The insults and temper tantrums sling back-and-forth. Off-screen jail time must be more hardcore than how it's depicted in this show. Otherwise, it's basically high school with less violence and more drugs. (One of the insults consists of the words 'fat slut' 🙄.) As the onscreen melodrama unfolds, I read a piece on what air travel is like when you're fat. I am fat. I am also terrified of someone else touching my fat (or my fat touching them). Wrapping my body around itself in an effort to make myself smaller is something I am all too familiar with. On planes, buses, trains. At conferences, in churches, and sharing an Uber. Trying to make myself smaller is nothing new. Blaming fat for this habit is disingenuous. I have always felt uncomfortable in my own skin. As far back as I...

How Can A Step Back Take You Forward? The story of Noah, the Ark, and the Great Flood taught me how. I reread it alongside Wendy Blight's 'Obeying When It Seems Impossible' teaching on Genesis 7. At the end of it, she asks whether there are any seemingly impossible tasks in our lives, and what we can do to take a step closer to accomplishing them. My life so far had nothing as daunting as Noah's instructions from God, but I recalled advice my father once gave me. He said that I need to surrender control once I've asked/prayed for help. You see, my dad jokingly told everyone that my very first words were "Ek wil self" ('I want to do it myself'). Although this paints a clear picture of me as a toddler, I have since learnt that it is important to ask for help. The only part of this whole thing that I haven't mastered yet, is to allow enough time and opportunity for others to help me after I've asked them to. Rainbows are a sign tha...

Most of us who struggle with our weight know exactly what to do. I have all the resources I need to get my body on track to reach those #hikegoals I set for myself  last year . Instead, I've crawled back into the old habit of damaging this body the good Lord gave me. I've fallen off the #healthspo wagon and can't get up. How can someone who's such a hard worker be so pathetic at nurturing relationships and living life? My Boot Camp participation wasn't what it could've been during the second round. Social fun feels like a myth. Mornings, breakfasts, and meals in general, have gone to hell in a handbasket. Tomorrow is the 1st day of quitting sugar AGAIN. I'm shitting bricks! Are there others out there trying and failing like this over and over and over? "I am made for more than a vicious cycle of eating, gaining, stressing..." - Lysa TerKeurst I'm still hanging onto the straps, but I don't know how to make my arms pull me up and o...

Apparently, the solution to E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G. Now, fight the urge to hurt me for being so corny and go build a bridge instead. Happy Valentine's Day!

Facing your circumstances (and yourself) head-on takes courage, but when courage is required, it doesn't mean that you should fear what's ahead. See it as a sign that whatever lies in front of you is filled with  possibility . Source: Facebook

The ghoulies must have been working overtime this year. On the last Thursday before Halloween, I was overcome by a strange masochistic urge to -  gasp!  -  weigh  myself. It was horrific. I've had a faint idea of how high my number must be for some time, but as I stood on that scale, it felt as if those three red numbers seared themselves into my brain. I tried to convince myself that it was a good thing to know and understand even the hard facts (knowledge is power and all that). My true self was not having any of that mind-over-matter bullshit and my mental defenses soon crumbled. I moped around whilst biting back the tears. Crying about my weight felt like a right I had not earned. If you don't vote, you can't complain. So where exactly could I go with all my weighty woes? First,  I prayed . Then, I could not stop talking about it. Oh boy! I kept yapping on and on to anybody who'd listen (or failed to flee the line of fire fast en...

Luke 1 & 2 tells us of divine interruptions in the lives of Zechariah & Elizabeth, Mary, and some shepherds out in a field. In fact, Luke is the only Gospel writer who gives us the details of the angel Gabriel appearing to Mary (refer More Moments in #First5 on 'Who I am doesn't feel good enough' by Lysa TerKeurst). Zechariah's interruption meant that Elizabeth was finally going to be a mother and give birth to his son. Something they thought would never happen.   ["But the angel said to him: 'Do not be afraid, Zechariah; your prayer has been heard. Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you are to call him John. He will be a joy and delight to you, and many will rejoice because of his birth... And he will go on before the Lord...to turn the hearts...to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.' " - Luke 1:13-17] Mary's interruption meant that she was going to be the earthly mother of God's only Son. As a virgin, I don'...

How are those New Year's Resolutions working out for you? Sticking to my new  morning routine is one that continued to kick my ass right into October. I was pretty motivated to kick off my newly designed routine but a few weeks into 2017 it tanked. Hard. Living comfortably is a privilege not afforded to many and all things considered, I must admit that my life actually is quite plush. I have room to be lazy in, including - but not limited to - sleeping in almost daily. Maybe that's how I got all fluffed up. (I literally - and I do mean LITERALLY - piled on the body mass of an average sized person*, except it was all excess fat.) The Why Whatever the reason(s) behind my massive weight gain over the past 15 years, I've finally had enough when it dawned on me that although weight has nothing to do with worth or beauty, lab results are the kind of numbers you need to pay attention to (more on this later). I was done with my lack of discipline. I was done with unhe...

Leah DiPascal made some valid points in  The Secret Things* . We don't know everything, because God keeps secrets from us. Now that I have learned more about God's character, I am sure that He does it for us.  ["The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may follow all the words of this law." - Deut. 29:29] There's been no one on this planet who knew it all (not since Jesus, that is). There are many who study, theorise, deduce, estimate, guess. Some have even been able to scientifically prove a multitude of facts & findings, but some answers continue to elude us. There is such joy in searching for answers! Think back to the last time you learned something new. Did it also leave you with a giddy sense of accomplishment? That joyous feeling is why I think He takes His time in revealing all His secrets to us. Maybe you think this elaborate tactic seems like overkill - a lot ...

Mentioning Halloween without mentioning Halloween  is just not possible. The film crowned Jamie Lee Curtis as The Scream Queen  and so far no one has knocked her off her pedestal yet. To me she is as synonymous to October as  that striped sweater or those masks . I get such a rush watching horror movies. Don't you?

We meet people for a reason. Don't be so self-centered that you think it's all about you.

God does not tempt. He tests. We should know this already because the Bible told us so. Centuries ago. ["Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the wilderness ... to humble and test you in order to know what was in your heart..." - Deut. 8:2] Now if you didn't know about this, or if you keep forgetting, don't feel guilty. Same here - if it wasn't for Lysa TerKeurst's First5 teaching on Deuteronomy 8 last year, I'd probably still be confused. In it, she asked, " Might God be using these humbling circumstances to get you to a place of deep and unshakable trust in Him? " What a #TruthBomb moment, right? Now before I chatter on, let's make a mental note NOT to confuse His spiritual tests with temptation, though. According to the main definitions on  Dictionary.com , there is a clear distinction between the two words: tempt /tɛmpt/ verb ~ to attempt to persuade or entice to do something, esp something morally wrong o...

For me, avoiding reality works best when turning a blind eye to the serious news on social media. With all the Trump & Zuma news reports coming at me, I feel like I'm falling down the rabbit hole. As tempting as it is to stay in my private bubble, away from it all, ignoring it won't make it go away.

Happy Women's Day, Ladies! Enjoy your break, and never forget how strong and capable you are. Joseph Conrad Quote on Pinterest

The world could be such a wonderful place! If only everybody would realise that we're STRONGER through diversity... PC:  Brit + Co

You won't know for sure how strong you are, until you find yourself 'Smack-Bang!' right in the midst of troubling times.

PC: QuotesArea A bad day is not a one-size-fits-all garment. No one's feelings rate higher than another's. Bad days are bad days. Grief is grief. That's it. Having said that, though, I do find that reminding myself of the fact that there are people who would love my bad days helps. It brings a different perspective to the situation. Maybe my bad day feels just as awful as someone else's bad day, but it doesn't deserve more recognition than that. It's just a bad day.

Suffering from depression is like stumbling around in familiar territory. Just as you catch a glimpse of an exit, you take a wrong turn and 'round and 'round you go. In her teaching on Deuteronomy 2 'Turning North' Lysa TerKeurst highlighted that "He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear" [ 1 Cor 10:13] . I find enormous comfort in this revelation. After their exodus from Egypt, the Israelites found themselves wandering the desert for 40 years. They must've felt hopelessly lost most of the time, but God always gives you a way out. For them, it was Moses. For me, there are numerous healthier options. Dakhla Lighthouse, Western Sahara [PC: JB Dodane]

Search & Become Regarding beauty, as Frank-N-Furter sang, "Don't dream it, be it".

SOOOOO not what I expected from Bruce Willis. Maybe he should've taken a hint from that  other Bruce W  and gone incognito.