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Gaining Life In Weight

Reality TV is white noise. Jailbirds play in the background as I check emails and catch up on social media. I vaguely become aware of an altercation between inmates on the screen. The insults and temper tantrums sling back-and-forth. Off-screen jail time must be more hardcore than how it's depicted in this show. Otherwise, it's basically high school with less violence and more drugs. (One of the insults consists of the words 'fat slut' šŸ™„.)
As the onscreen melodrama unfolds, I read a piece on what air travel is like when you're fat. I am fat. I am also terrified of someone else touching my fat (or my fat touching them). Wrapping my body around itself in an effort to make myself smaller is something I am all too familiar with. On planes, buses, trains. At conferences, in churches, and sharing an Uber.
Trying to make myself smaller is nothing new. Blaming fat for this habit is disingenuous. I have always felt uncomfortable in my own skin. As far back as I can rememb…

Do It

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Happy Valentine's Week!
Here's a song for those times you just want to do it.

What? Who?

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A perpetual cycle of finding myself, only to lose myself again, devoured most of my free time last year. I did not write or read nearly as much as I aimed for and there's no way of reliably predicting that 2019 will be any different.

Right now, my self-confidence is on the upswing, and it looks like my niche is being carved out. Past behaviour, however, is the best predictor of future behaviour, so I won't be too surprised to find myself over-thinking and screwing myself over more than once before this New Year is through.

This is why I decided to ride out this high and instead of bothering too much with resolutions, I worked through my 1000+ unread personal emails.

One of them was a recent newsletter from The What, and now I cannot stop listening to The Hu.

No. Not 'The Who'. The HU:

From 5KM to 10KM (Part 2)

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Although it feels like this post should be titled 'Part 200'.

This whole year (in terms of #hikegoals) was try, fail, try again...

Right now, I'm not sure if I'm ever going to be ready for a multi-day hike like the Fish River, but I am sure that I will not stop trying to live a life worth living.

For me, that kind of life is one that needs regular refills of love, healthspo, and travel.

Run With Scissors

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Yes, I am one of those terribly annoying people who get a kick out of these silly almost-every-day celebrations, and tomorrow it's Face Your Fears Day (2nd Tuesday of October each year).

Don't fight it.

Shhhh...

Oh Boy!

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It's been 20 years.  I forget just how ridiculous those boy bands were. (And how much we were into them.)

Poor Kurt Cobain would have risen from the dead only to die from embarrassment knowing his face graced my bedroom wall at the same time as a Backstreet Boys poster. The horror!

A lot has changed for me since the 1990's. Pinks and feminine florals no longer repulse me, my taste in music is now much more inclusive, and I've even quit smoking.

The bad taste in my past is something I'm quite comfortable admitting to now, but SMH. Why, oh why, was I ever into this other 'N Sync guy?

Rainbows & Patience

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How Can A Step Back Take You Forward? The story of Noah, the Ark, and the Great Flood taught me how.

I reread it alongside Wendy Blight's 'Obeying When It Seems Impossible' teaching on Genesis 7. At the end of it, she asks whether there are any seemingly impossible tasks in our lives, and what we can do to take a step closer to accomplishing them.

My life so far had nothing as daunting as Noah's instructions from God, but I recalled advice my father once gave me. He said that I need to surrender control once I've asked/prayed for help.

You see, my dad jokingly told everyone that my very first words were "Ek wil self" ('I want to do it myself'). Although this paints a clear picture of me as a toddler, I have since learnt that it is important to ask for help. The only part of this whole thing that I haven't mastered yet, is to allow enough time and opportunity for others to help me after I've asked them to.

Rainbows are a sign that God will…