A perpetual cycle of finding myself, only to lose myself again, devoured most of my free time last year.
I did not write or read nearly as much as I aimed for and there's no way of reliably predicting that 2019 will be any different.
Right now, my self-confidence is on the upswing, and it looks like my niche is being carved out. Past behaviour, however, is the best predictor of future behaviour, so I won't be too surprised to find myself over-thinking and screwing myself over more than once before this New Year is through.
This is why I decided to ride out this high and instead of bothering too much with resolutions, I worked through my 1000+ unread personal emails.
One of them was a recent newsletter from The What, and now I cannot stop listening to The Hu.
How Can A Step Back Take You Forward?
The story of Noah, the Ark, and the Great Flood taught me how.
I reread it alongside Wendy Blight's 'Obeying When It Seems Impossible' teaching on Genesis 7. At the end of it, she asks whether there are any seemingly impossible tasks in our lives, and what we can do to take a step closer to accomplishing them.
My life so far had nothing as daunting as Noah's instructions from God, but I recalled advice my father once gave me. He said that I need to surrender control once I've asked/prayed for help.
You see, my dad jokingly told everyone that my very first words were "Ek wil self" ('I want to do it myself'). Although this paints a clear picture of me as a toddler, I have since learnt that it is important to ask for help. The only part of this whole thing that I haven't mastered yet, is to allow enough time and opportunity for others to help me after I've asked them to.
Most of us who struggle with our weight know exactly what to do.
I have all the resources I need to get my body on track to reach those #hikegoals I set for myself last year. Instead, I've crawled back into the old habit of damaging this body the good Lord gave me.
I've fallen off the #healthspo wagon and can't get up.
How can someone who's such a hard worker be so pathetic at nurturing relationships and living life? My Boot Camp participation wasn't what it could've been during the second round. Social fun feels like a myth. Mornings, breakfasts, and meals in general, have gone to hell in a handbasket. Tomorrow is the 1st day of quitting sugar AGAIN. I'm shitting bricks! Are there others out there trying and failing like this over and over and over?
I'm still hanging onto the straps, but I don't know how to make my arms pull me up and over the rails.
Would you give me a boost?