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Being Good in Bed & Other Unwholesome Habits

How are those New Year's Resolutions working out for you?
Sticking to my new morning routine is one that continued to kick my ass right into October. I was pretty motivated to kick off my newly designed routine but a few weeks into 2017 it tanked. Hard.

Living comfortably is a privilege not afforded to many and all things considered, I must admit that my life actually is quite plush. I have room to be lazy in, including - but not limited to - sleeping in almost daily. Maybe that's how I got all fluffed up. (I literally - and I do mean LITERALLY - piled on the body mass of an average sized person*, except it was all excess fat.)

The Why

Whatever the reason(s) behind my massive weight gain over the past 15 years, I've finally had enough when it dawned on me that although weight has nothing to do with worth or beauty, lab results are the kind of numbers you need to pay attention to (more on this later).

I was done with my lack of discipline.

I was done with unhealthy choices and diets.

I was done sleeping away precious hours every day.

PC: Gray Malin

The When

As I post this, I'm still not sure whether I should wait a little longer before I start sharing news of this new journey with you. Maybe I should wait until I have reached my multi-day hiking goal. I've tried this all before and my track record sucks. I really don't want to end up with egg on my face. I could go on.

On the other hand, if I hold back now, I'm just creating the perfect circumstances for me to cop out again. Accountability is key, right?

The How

First I had to Quit

1. Smoking

I smoked my first cigarette when I was 14 years old. That was twenty years ago. Obviously, I heard about all the dangers of smoking (over and over and over...) and the more people told me to quit, the more I rebelled and kept at it. Then this doctor begged me to "please find yourself a different crutch".

Why this brief talk had such an impact on me, I have no idea. Maybe it stuck to the back of my mind because it was just an honest emphatic discussion. He wasn't telling me to do anything. He wasn't reprimanding me for smoking, or being fat. He just went through all my lab results and suggested different things that could help me in the long run. You know - use it, don't use it.

I smoked my last cigarette on 23 August 2017. A week before I downed the fags, I ordered a Twisp. This was by no means an impulse buy. I only clicked 'Add to Cart' once I had clearly established the framework of my Quitting Plan.

During the last few weeks (before I finally quit), I started to check how long I could stretch the time lapses between smoke breaks. I approached it as a case of curiosity. Whenever I really wanted to have a puff, I'd smoke one. I just wanted to test my own limits without the kind of restriction that might just lead to binge eating/drinking.

It was surprising to see how long I actually lasted without a nicotine fix. Getting up and having water or doing something else to keep my hands busy also helped. A lot. When I got down to my last pack of cigarettes (I vowed never to touch another once the 'current carton' was depleted), I ordered the e-cigarette.

Let's be clear: smoking of ANY kind can be harmful to your health. I only decided to use an e-cigarette instead of the Marlboro Blue Ice was hooked on, because I knew it could be up to 4 times safer than conventional cigarettes and I could use a liquid with next to no nicotine in it. In the end, my plan was to continue stretching my smoke breaks farther and farther apart until my Twisp became the same thing my Orbitrek once did - an unused, long forgotten appliance stored somewhere in a dark corner of my house.

Sometime during September 2017, I stopped carrying my Twisp out of the house with me and shortly after that I quit using it completely. Just like my emergency cigarette (the last one of the final pack), my Twisp is still in my house. I'm not ready to throw it out, but having it seems to fool the Mind Addict into thinking that we're having our cake and eating it, too.

2. Sugar

Being insulin resistant means that the most important element I need to focus on is quitting sugar.

I've known about this for years and I am already used to taking coffee, tea, and cereal without adding any sugar to it, but I wasn't totally aware of just how much sugar was inside the processed food I was eating until I watched That Sugar Film.

Right now I cannot yet proclaim that #IQuitSugar completely, but I'm doing very well. [I'll post more on my methods and progress soon.]

But I also had to Start

I had no idea how to get myself moving, but it hit me as soon as Anna mentioned the Fish River Canyon as a 2019 trip destination: Start Walking!

From there on it got a little tricky. I've had various gym memberships in the past and that never worked out. I guess going to the gym made me compare myself to others too much, which made me feel worse and eventually I'd stop going. Also, life is good at the moment, but not hiring-a-full-time-personal-trainer good, so I decided to strike out on my own.

I found plenty of training programmes and fitness advice online, but nothing for a real (read obese) beginner like myself. Everything I found was designed on the assumption that I could simply get up off the couch and start running short distances. I commend them for trying, but at a certain weight (and 0 level of inactivity) walking down a driveway can leave you breathless.

What I do agree with, is that we do need to start somewhere. Having said that, I also realise that embarking on a new #healthspo routine will already be taking you out of your comfort zone, so start with something you feel comfortable with and keep pushing and improving in small increments.

The Future

Once a month I will update you on my progress - what I've been eating and doing in detail.

I'm doing this for me. And for all the sailors in my boat.

Feel free to tag along.


*Total gained = 63.5kg // 140 lb // 10 stone [I will eventually start posting photographs to show you what this looks like, but for now sharing the info of my very personal journey is daunting enough, thank you.]

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