Ambition is a fantastic motivator. Especially if you're also clear on  what it is that you want to achieve/become. I mean, you don't need anyone to dangle a carrot at the next corner, coaxing you into making a right turn; you just automatically want to do what you need to do to get what you're after.
I have absoluteluy no idea what it is that I am hungry for. I have a very attentive and loving husband, a good job with colleagues I usually don't feel like gassing in their sleep, and practically zero familial or friendship drama. Is the restlessness, in which I find myself during the quiet moments, a desire to move and get out more? Or, on an even more seriously damaged note, have I been able to pull off the greatest prank ever - tricking myself into thinking I want what I have only to waste an entire life? Could this also be the root of  my eating disorder? I binge and grossly overeat, because I confuse a spiritual/life hunger with a biological one? After all, Maslow believed that when we've reach a certain point in our lives, we will all start looking for things such as the ego and self-actualisation...
On the other hand, I think overthinking and analysing life can also be a little like repeating one word over and over: eventually it loses substance and become gibberish, doesn't it?
I don't know if I'll ever stumble upon my purpose and live the rest of my days in nauseating contentment, but I do hope that every day I'll find new (no matter how small) ways to enrich my life and sate this hunger.


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