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Here's Looking At You, Kid!

Yes, I know - it's been forever since I logged on to talk to you (myself).  Let me try and explain why...

My sister was hospitalised with meningitis last month - and the emotional toll it took on all of us is indescribable. At first, she was just feeling a bit under the weather the Friday morning, but we just thought the worst it could be is one of these stomache bugs that often do the rounds. That night she became totally unresponsive & no longer recognised any of us. I've never been that scared in my life! You could see her & touch her & talk to her, but when she looked at you there was just this empty look in her eyes. We feared that it meant brain damage since that is a common complication of the disease if not treated fast enough and at one point I was just sitting in my lounge (waiting for the time to pass so we can go back to the hospital) and I just pleaded with God not to leave me behind without her. I panicked. I lost my dad on 13 July 2011 and didn't want to also be left behind as the only girl left of this generation on his side of the family, because my cousin also passed away in December and we're still dealing with that. And as silly as all of it sounds all typed out, I was terrified!!!
The first Monday after she was hospitalised she - thankfully - started to wade back towards us through the haze of confusion she was experiencing. They kept her there for observation for about 2 weeks (so we were carting back & forth every single day to try and be with her as much as possible) and 'til this day she's still suffering from sporadic after effects/symptoms like headaches & nausea, but I'm just relieved to have her back home.

On top of all of this, March is the last month of the financial year at the office, so I'm flying by the seat of my pants until further notice and I'm still meaning to get around to sharing my own unique contribution (and urge you to share yours too) to Rachele's recent #NOTYOURBEFOREPHOTO initiative, because I think it's brilliant, but for now I just want to share the following Aha! Moment I had over the weekend:

I'm sure most of you understand the basics behind why advertisements & publicity work as well as it does? It's referred to as the Exposure Effect and I was sitting, practically naked aside from my knickers, in front of my mirror combing through my just-washed hair, just looking at myself. The knee-jerk reaction is to look away every single time I do this, because I think I've been taught to not like what I see; but the more I force myself to look at myself, all of it, the more I don't mind what I see. And it hit me square in the rolls! If we like something more when we see it more often, then we need to just starting looking at ourselves in all our glory & thereby learn how to love our bodies more. It's as simple as that, so after you've shared your photo, look at it as often as you possibly can, working yourself up to just sitting in front of the mirror in your underwear and looking at yourself. You really do deserve the love you're holding back from yourself.


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